Monday, February 02, 2009
The Man Rules
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials...
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Hackers create Zombies Ahead highway signs
Apparent slacker hackers with time to kill brought a raised eyebrow or two to the faces of motorists at a busy Austin intersection.
Electronic signs intended to warn motorists of construction near the intersection of Lamar and Martin Luther King boulevards were changed Wednesday to warn of “Zombies Ahead Run for your lives”
The two signs are about a half mile west of the University of Texas campus.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Failure Quotes
Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent in doing nothing.
There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought.
I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure: which is: Try to please everybody.
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.
Failure is instructive. The person who really thinks learns quite as much from his failures as from his successes.
It is better to have enough ideas for some of them to be wrong, than to be always right by having no ideas at all.
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